May 26, 2014

This week was extra special - Elder Jeffery R. Holland, his wife, and Elder Hallstrom came to do a 3 hour mission conference. I sat in the second row directly in line with him. Spitting distance.
This experience was the STRONGEST I have felt the spirit my entire mission....maybe my entire life.

We had seen him a week before at a stake conference but it didn't even begin to compare. The mission was very very spiritually prepared. I was able to receive so many impressions of things I would like to change and work on.

Through out him speaking, E. Hallstrom, and S. Holland one of the main messages that I got out of it was change - what we are willing to change, what we can change, and how it becomes possible to change.

We are God's investigators. He wants what we want for the people - to pray more meaningfully, to study more diligently than we have before, to repent and give up bad habits, to be on a constant spiritual diet. Thats what we require of those we teach and that's what God requires and expects of us too. "Look into your soul. What do you need to change? Who do i need to forgive and what do i need to forgive? In the mean time, enjoy the blessings God has so freely given to you."

He talked about discipleship...what it means to be a disciple...where we have to walk, and think, and go in order to truly follow the Savior. He also called us apostolic. He said dont get too excited, I hold the actual apostolic keys, but as being set apart as a representative of Jesus Christ, its the next closest thing you can get. At this point i'm about to turn into King Lamoni and faint on the spot because the spirit is so thick I can hardly breathe. He made us mentally promise that we would never leave the gospel. Then the E. Holland in your face that we all know and love started coming out. He said there are a few things that ruffles his feathers, but one thing that he will never be able to understand is return missionaries who leave the church. He said, i just havent understood it yet and i dont know if i ever will. We have sheep to find!! "Please don't tell me we have to worry about the shepherds. We have enough to do with gathering the sheep as it is. THIS is Real Life. Captial R, Capital L. THERE IS NO BETTER LIFE."

There really is no better life.

He left the most powerful apostolic blessing with promises of miracles to be unfolded in this mission. He said that out of all the mission presidents he's seen - President and Sister Packard are different. 'They just dont come better'. Not surprised to see him on the big stand shortly. We sang the Spirit of God as the closing song. My favorite hymn and the one i've had the most powerful experiences with. This topped them all. We stood up to sing the song and as my eyes panned across the men that we standing right in front of me - President Haight, Christensen, Packard, Elder Holland, and Hallstrom - I felt like I was singing in front of true judges in Israel. I have never had such a celestial feeling. The only words that came to mind was 'Ive made it....oh my goodness i'm there." Following the closing prayer we stood as elder holland left the room and everyone was frozen. no one even blinked or turned their head. We all stood there for literally over 10 minutes (which is a long time not to move a single portion of your body). Quiet tears rolled down my face and I had to remind myself to keep intaking oxygen. It was one of the most sacred experiences i've had.
It was a testimony to me that we really can all make it. There are no words that can explain it. Heavenly Father loves us unconditionally - he loves us where we're at and yet knows what we can become and invites us to make those changes. Step into the REAL real life. Experience what life can feel like. Accept the invitation. It really doesn't get better.

I feel truly blessed. Life really doesnt come better. The people im surrounded by don't come better. "Come to the edge. Let him push you....and FLY."

Love you all - thank you for your support and prayers.

Sister Bell

Keepin it real...because it is real - E. Holland statement approved.

May 19, 2014

We got our final large display in! The Restoration board. FINALLY. We had a total of 5 events this weekend. Luckily we have AMAZING Zone Leaders who have been our newest comrades and so we let them babysit one of the displays to take it to 2 of the events. It was the first time we left the baby in someone else's hands. I literally felt like a mom calling to make sure everything was running ok. Our ZLs are the only ones we trust to babysit it - we now joke at calling them the "PVC Elders". They're having a little too much fun being our little helpers. We've now let them join our ranks in helping us with videos and techy tips.  

I haven't washed my hand all weekend as I got to shake hands with Elder Jeffery R. Holland.....

yeah. i know. ok, kidding about the no handwashing.

He is the FUNNIEST man alive. Only he could spend 45 minutes telling a story keeping people's interest and also teaching at the same time. He told a story about when he was 10 years old - The Bishop, Elders Quorum pres, and Sunday school Pres came to their home to find his inactive father smoking at the front door. After a bit of awkwardness, the Bishop said, 'Frank, we've come to call you to teach sunday school.' Frank blurted out, "But I smoke!" As quickly as Frank responded, the Bishop quickly retaliated "That's your problem, and not ours!" A bit more awkwardness passed as this was not the standard church response...

Frank looked away at 10 year old Jeff in the doorway. There was no reason Jeff should have been there considering the time period. normally, the mom would have called him out if he hadn't left himself. As Frank looked at Jeff, back at the Bishop, and back at Jeff again, the thought came into Frank's mind, "Frank, they are asking you to teach Jeff's class."

Elder Holland says, "My dad was a lousy latter-day saint, but he was a perfect father. He would do anything for his children."

Finally, Frank looked at the Bishop and said, "When do you want me to do this thing?"

They answered, "Well, Frank, if you're asking when do we need you, the answer is this Sunday. If you're asking when you can do it, that is up to you."
Frank took his pack of Camels out of his shirt pocket and tossed it into the open fireplace grate and said, "I will be there Sunday." And he was, as a non-smoking, non-drinking, tithe-paying member of the church.

Elder Holland said that those three men saved his life by doing their duty, by following the spirit, and looking for someone other than the same ten people. "Believe in the unlikely. Never stop having hope in the unlikely. How many other Jeff Hollands are out there?  How many others are out there that could serve if given the opportunity but don't because they aren't challenged to do so?"

And then with the fervor in Elder Holland's voice that we all love and recognize:
"If you think for one minute that god doesn't talk to the cigarette-smoking, coffee-drinking, sometimes beer-drinking nonmembers or inactive members of the church, you are wrong. WE may not speak to them, but God most assuredly does!"

"If we've got it, then we have got to give it". "We have an obligation to give what has been given to us."

I think sometimes 'believing in the unlikely' includes believing in ourselves. Sometimes we are the unlikely. We are the ones against all odds. But with that, sometimes that means we are the ones holding ourselves back the most. This week in the scriptures I studied the phrase, "waiting upon the Lord." After a crazy footnote mad session I learned that it is actually Hebrew for "hope for or anticipate; trust".

Through study of all these scriptures I learned that this kind of waiting is not passive. It is active. Waiting upon the Lord means giving up our will for his. It means being our best selves. It means being completely obedient. It means exercising more patience. I love what Elder Hales says: "Does this mean we will always understand our challenges? Won’t all of us, sometime, have reason to ask, “O God, where art thou?” Yes! Yes, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Then, in the dawn of our increased faith and understanding, we arise and choose to wait upon the Lord, saying, “Thy will be done.”^"

^{Choose to wait upon the Lord. Choose to be proactive. Choose to set aside bad habits. Choose to give a selfless prayer.
Choose to remain hopeful in the unlikely.}

^{I get to see Holland again this week. Man I live a rough life. More spiritual goodies to come next week!}

^{Love,
Sister Bell}

May 12, 2014

This was weekend I got to go back to Ellington! Don got baptized - it was the most beautiful baptism. He had his good friend baptize him. Before the service his friend said some words to us missionaries and Don and Audrey. He said, "You will never fully realize or see the results from what will occur today. You have just assisted in making eternal changes. Some you will never know about on this life." The spirit was so strong and everyone's eyes were hazed over with a watery film some people call tears. After Don went under the water, their 6yr old grandson who they are in the process of trying to adopt was peering through the glass with SO much excitement. When he came back up, he looked at him and said 'You're next'. I was thinking back to the first time I met them and how we began teaching Don. We went over for dinner. It was the first week of training a brand new missionary and I was kinda nervous. I had only been out for 6 weeks and we didnt have a ton of investigators and I didnt know how to teach. That morning we had decided that we'd ask Don if we could practice teach him. When the time came, I was a little scared, but knew now or never. So we said, "Don, you're catholic and have a lot of great perspective. We are both brand new missionaries and are looking to be better teachers. Could we teach you some of the lessons? Youll give us a lot of good questions - you can be as hard as you want!" He's like "wait a second...i know what this is all about....but sure! lets do it, it'll be fun!"
he did have a lot of good questions and it was a lot of fun. Pretty soon questions became more sincere and they realized what a difference it was when they came to church. they felt something different than theyd ever felt before.

As I looked at him getting baptized I thought "what if i had been to scared to ask? what if I had chickened out or thought, nah we'll try to do it the next time we see them..if we can get in again. what if Don had been too scared to go to church? what if Audrey had been to prideful to come back? What if they were too lazy to take the risk in experiencing what happens when you truly learn how to pray to god and receive answers? what if?"

Fear can do a lot of things. Its a blessing and a curse - it can prevent us from doing some pretty dumb things like jumping off a 50 story building or eating too much chocolate in fear of getting fat. It can also hold us back from experiencing greatness. Fear could have prevented testing airplanes, going to the moon, and sometimes it prevents us from opening insecurities and doubts and questions that lead to greater knowledge. Greater knowledge leads to desires to change, and positive changes brings out a greater person.

What do you fear? What holds you back?

On the way out of Ellington I just had to stop by Gary's. His car was in the garage. No answer to the door. We left a note. My heart tears for Gary still on a nightly basis. He has so many desires and knows the truth, but he is working though a lot of fears. God knows us personally. He knows our fears even when we dont express them. He knows our desires even when we dont ask for things. What if the Savior let fear hold him back from taking upon the sins of the world? What if He was too scared to perform the atonement or too scared of people's judgement?

I love you all. Pick something your scared of - and choose the prove your fears wrong this week. I dare you.

Love,

Sister Bell

p.s. - shout out to the Kravetz family who we got to see in Ellington. Best. Family. Ever. I love you and im SO excited about the famous hot chocolate!!! Dont forget to send the recipe...along with the pizza one :) Did i mention youre the best yet?

Famous sandwhich shop - Alcapones. YUM.

Book of Mormon rountable, and a sign that i truly live in new england.