Sounds like everyone had a blast this week and it was good to hear
news all around of people expecting and people having babies! Shout out
to mae mae and Blaise - the newest in the parents club. Sorry to say I
can't send pictures this week because I forgot my adapter :(
4th of July was fun! President allowed us to stay past curfew to
watch fireworks so us and the elders from our district drove to New
Britain, CT to watch some pretty awesome fireworks. I got to do a lot of
contacting there which is still relatively new for me since I hardly
get the chance. So that was a learning experience. Its interesting
trying to balance being yourself while still being able to testify in
public. I thought about you a lot Brad! Other than that, 4th of July is
just a normal day for missionaries. With Cory getting baptized, we are
loosing a key investigator (but in a good way!) and the members are on
their way to getting to the point where they are the main source of
getting investigators...but not quite. We really really want someone new
to teach and for some reason 4th of July morning I prayed extra hard
and sincere praying that that day someone would come to us that is ready
to hear the gospel of jesus christ. Sister Crane wanted to surprise me
and take me to this beautiful look out place called Fox Hill Tower and
on the way she thought she knew how to get there but we got a little
lost. There was a couple walking their dogs and we stopped and asked
them for directions. Sister Crane being the amazing missionary she is
kept talking to them and brought up the gospel and they girl was like
"wow i would love to hear more of what you have to say, here's my phone
number." I was stunned. Sister Crane got in the car and I said "Sister
Crane, wow - you just answered my prayers!" She said what are you
talking about what did you pray for? I told her I would tell her that
night. That night she said, "I really hope Cassandre is interested. this
morning I prayed with a little extra sincerety really pleading with the
Lord that we would find someone who is ready to accept the gospel." I
was like thats what i was going to tell you that I prayed for!! It
sounds dumb because you should always be praying for that...but it was
different this time. We've tried to call Cassandre but we haven't gotten
a hold of her yet. But even if she doesn't end up hearing more, I
still know that it was a confirmation to prayer and it felt good as a
companionship not knowing we were both looking and praying for
specifically the same thing that day.
Cory's baptism is in 5 days. In case you didn't get that....FIVE
DAYS!!!!!!! he had his baptism interview with our DL.....which went
awesome - we may or may not have listened outside the door :)....We are
beyond excited and are trying to get as many people there as possible.
Last night we had one of our last lessons with him and as a member was
talking in the lesson I felt really really strongly that we needed
to hear his testimony. I almost felt like I had to rock back and forth
in my chair - it took all I could to patiently wait until our wonderful
(BUT CHATTY) member stopped talking about being a strong member even
when you see people who aren't. When she did I knew that I had to give
Cory my testimony too. We have talked about testimony before but I knew
he didn't have a firm grasp on it. So I said, "Do you remember us
talking about testimony? Having and staying true to our testimony is
what will keep us rooted in the gospel when we see other's examples that
aren't that great in the church because no one is perfect. A testimony
is things you know to be true - it can be things you learned from
experience, that you read and pray about, or sometimes you don't even
know why but you just feel it in your heart that it is right. I am going
to tell you the things I know to be true and then afterwards I want you
to tell us what YOU know to be true. Deal?" He seemed a little hesitant
and said "what do you mean things i know are true?" I said I will tell
you what I know to be true then I think you'll get it. Then I bore my
testimony and when i did, maybe it was just because i was a little
nervous, but I literally felt my heart beating so hard it almost hurt.
The spirit was so strong and Cory's a really sincere guy so he looks you
right in the eye when you speak, especially when you bear your
testimony. I kept it simple and once I was done I said, "ok, that's what
i know to be true. what about you?" He said that he knew that the book
of mormon is true and he said a couple more things about the happiness
he feels and then he said it feels so good I feel like I just want to
share it [the gospel] with everyone.
That was it - so simple and yet the spirit was so strong in his
little old apartment. I felt it and we knew he was more than ready to be
baptized because he said he feels like he needs to share it with
everyone - and thats what true conversion is I feel like - when you know
its so true even when you can't explain it that you just have to share
it. A poor homeless 39 year old, triple XL black man with hardly any
life skills has transformed into a dedicated man with the spirit
radiating.
It's been interesting to find a pattern in people. Its starting to
get easier but it's still pretty hard sometimes to read their life story
in 30 seconds or less. Sister Crane is pretty dang good at it of
course. We went to visit an inactive member and it was a miracle because
we always just want to talk to her but her husband dominates the
conversation but this time he was sleeping on the deck so we got to talk
to just her! This family used to be one of the strongest families in
the church and he would help build all the church buildings with his
hands and give up all he had for the church....and he just got burnt
out. How does this happen people wonder? How do you have large calllings
and learn the principle of sacrifice whhich should bring
strength? turns out they stopped going to church when?....When they
stopped reading the Book of Mormon on a daily basis. It's an obvious
answer but to see the pattern over and over again - every time we ask
them when the last time they read the book of mormon was...it's just
before they stopped going to church. You can have the greatest calling
in the world, keep the commandments, feel like youre keeping all your
covenants, but when you stop reading the book of mormon daily - the
cookie begins to quickly crumble. Its reassuring though that there's a
simple solution - START reading the book of mormon. So she agreed to
have us come over 2 times a month to read the Book of Mormon with her.
Seems like it's not a big deal....but that's stretching for this
family...it's a miracle.
Anyways, life is great. It's easy to feel overwhelmed, easy to have
the desire to do everything and feel discouraged when in reality you
just can't, and easy to feel inadequate like you're not living up to
everything you could be, and easy to be tempted to compare yourself to
others. i have to shut my brain off a lot and step away and realize that
I am one of the Lord's investigators too. I don't expect my
investigators to take huge overnight steps and the Lord doesn't require
that of me either. i just want to be good and I want to be better and i
want to just be the best. And guess what? I guess you just can't be
perfect everyday for some odd reason and you can't turn into a Sister
Beck or Sister Elaine Dalton overnight for some odd reason. Sometimes I
feel like im not changing that much or improving that much and I feel
like I'm just going to come off my mission the same old person. But
again I just have to shut off my brain and go back to my go to solution:
to love. I figured out if i stop worrying about MY potential and all I
could be and what I want of MYSELF and just love other people with all I
have inside of me and always put them first, it helps me have faith
that the Lord will do the same for me, his investigator, to give me all
his love and help build me and put me first.
Have a wicked awesome week and go treat yourself to an ice cream sundae with some of dem jimmies on top :) I know I will :)
Love,
Sister Bell
Keepin it real....because it is real
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