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We live by a HUGE lego factory. either legos are gettin bigger or i'm getting smaller

July 29, 2013

All is good in Ellington. There are definetly a lot of ups and downs but most of the times I dont really think about the downs. I think thats a blessing from heavenly father. One day we had lots of dropped appointments, one which was so dissapointing because we spent a long time planning this very important lesson and planned to invite her to be baptized. we were just finnishing planning it when she called. but then we met with recent convert who we have been trying to get a hold of for decades. she hasn't come to church because of work and she always changes her phone number. but we met with her and her amazing home teacher brother Mehr came with us. She agreed to meet with us weekly and we will be reteaching her and she also said she'd come to church every other week (thats all her work schedule can allow). So by the end of the day I was lying in bed thinking, "ah what an amazing day! being a missionary is the BEST!" and then I remembered how discouraged and hopeless i felt just a few hours before and really forget what that feeling felt like.  Then people ask about a trial or a time you've felt hopeless and my mind goes blank. I think, "I have had to feel hopeless sometime in my life....why can't i think of any trials? why can't i think of how 5 hours ago I wanted to chuck a brick at a wall?" It is the oddest thing - i can't explain it. I think that's what the atonement of Jesus Christ does. We have hopeless moments and times we feel like we are completely useless and feel like we are wasting the Lord's time....but the atonement helps paint over that. It's got to be some pretty strong paint...probably Benjamin Moore paint or something because it paints over it so well you can't see any dark marks underneath that fresh white paint.

 

Bro Mehr, that lady's home teacher taught me a lot. I needed that lesson more than Latrina did. I walked away thinking, "They should really get the missionaries some home teachers". He gave an amazing thought after we did and then asked me to say the closing prayer and said "now im going to ask sister bell to do a favor. in her prayer shes only going to thank heavenly father for things. and everyone in this room needs something right now and it's ok to ask for things in our prayers, but lets see if Sister Bell can ask for things in this prayer for us but through thanking Him." That prayer took a lot of thinking which was good for me after a day of discouragement and dropped appointments. Its amazing how you can ask for things by saying thankyou. There were so many times i wanted to slip up and thought "itd just be easier to directly ask" but when phrasing it in the way of a thank you it was neat to experience. After the prayer Bro Mehr said i did good and that there were something he was praying that i'd mention during the prayer and i did. Then after walking out i realized Bro Mehr has only been active for the past 8 years and before that time wasn't active since he was a teenager! And he's dad's age or a little older! Wow the Lord has taught him quickly the past 8 years. Walking out with him I told him how amazing he was and how much his spirit reminded me of my dad's and how he was able to teach me in the manner that he did. It's exactly how you teach me, dad. I looked at him and said, "Bro Mehr, when you are you going to invite someone to meet with the missionaries in your home? You could work miracles." He laughed really hard and then looked at me and realized when i wasn't laughing I was serious. He said he's working on it :)

 

The groundbreaking for our temple which is going to be SO close by is this upcoming month! The members are SO excited! There is very very limited space at the groundbreaking so you can only attend by invite only and they aren't really planning on inviting any of the missionaries. good news is that my new friend Bro. Mehr is on the groundbreaking committe. I asked him what we could do to help. He said they have it all taken care of. I said we could even help with parking! Anything Bro Mehr! We'll do the job no one wants to do! I love Bro Mehr because you can be SO direct with him so I said, "Bro Mehr, you need servants wearing the name of Jesus Christ on their heart each day there as witnesses of this wonderful work. People need to see that!" He's so great - he'd figure out if we can do parking :) So each day Sister Barney and I pray in gratitude of the temple and gratitude for bro mehr that he is doing all he can to help us be apart of the groundbreaking. Wouldn't that be awesome!! Rumor is President Monson is going to be there because his granddaughter lives out here or something?....but we're not counting on rumors...itll still be awesome whoever is there though.

 

LOVE YOU ALL! Thank you for your letters of peace and counsel...i feed off of them and eat it up. I thank heavenly father every day for a family who stands behind me and supports me and is active in raising their families in the gospel. Stay strong in the little things families! Looking at families here, they fell apart when the little things slid past them.

 

Love,

Sister Bell

Pictures

1. Corey's Baptism!

2. When I first came, they were little sprouts...look how theyve grown!

3. I set up a bunch of green things before picking up the greenie and attached notes to them!

4. Me and Sister Barney outside the temple

 

 

 

 

This was at the ward pioneer day activity - they had a little photobooth section. So here's for a little laugh  

 

1. The beautiful view of my area on the 4th of July

2. Touching water?: GASP! Calm down, its allowed

3. At Crystal Lake

4. Crystal Lake: we watch people wakeboard and ski and we just day dream and try to live through their moment

 

 

 

July 22, 2013

In trying to start this letter - the first word that comes to mind is tired. I am really tired. On the upside, my companion is AWESOME. Her name is Sister Barney. Bell & Barney - sounds like a classy company name to me. We were in transfer meeting where President announces trainers and trainees. I was looking around the room and my eyes kept going back to her and I kept thinking "I want that one." Then as time went on and when she stood up and president was about to announce her trainer, i thought, "She's my companion. Thats gotta be her." And sure enough it was! She is coming along great and is really patient with me which is a relief. I feel really bad a lot - like I am throwing a million things on her at once...but I can't really think of any other way to do it. And a lot of times I forget that I'm training honestly - and the other day we were stuck and we didnt have a lot of appointments and I just turned to her and I said, "Im going to be completely honest with you: i have NO idea what to do right now."

And the other day we were early to a dinner appt so I said, "we have a few minutes. With awkward times like this, even though our focus isn't tracting - its member missionary work, we make the most of every minute so lets go knock on a few doors." Now at this point, I had never gone tracting on my mission. We didnt have a lot of time and Sister Crane had never been and so it made me scared which was dumb and sister crane felt bad for never teaching me. Sis Barney was like, "What should I say?" It was hilarious as I thought "I have no idea, i've never done this before." I said what do you think you should say? here's a book of mormon - introduce yourself and pick a main point of the gospel. She said, "Do you do this a lot?" I said, "We try to be most productive with members but when we have a few minutes, tracting is better than just sitting on the grass. So yeah, I've done it all the time." Its bad to lie - but I just couldn't tell her that i'd never been tracting before. how embarassing! when you dont know how and dont want to - what better way to do it than to have the greenie do it? Is that mean? :) So we did it and she did awesome and we ended up having a really great discussion with the man and he lives next door to a member so we gave him a BOM and said we'd come back next week when we were over at the members house again. It was easier than I thought. That reminds me...i still need to tell her I lied to her. Probably not a good method of teaching but hey fake it to you make it?

 

I just hope we're doing all we can. Sometimes I don't know. I feel like I'm doing everything I know how to do - but I wish i knew more. I have a feeling like something's missing and when i was being trained I knew that if we were unproductive, my trainer would say we could be doing this better or more effectively or that's a good choice but here's a BETTER choice....and I don't have that now.  I want this area to grow and that's the hard thing about growth, is that it's slow, so its hard to tell sometimes if you're REALLY doing ALL you can to help it grow. I want to do everything right and it's frustrating knowing that human nature doesn't agree with that, learning that it's ok to make silly mistakes sometimes when you're doing all you can. I just don't want to miss something and her "grow up" learning something the wrong way or not doing something as good as she could. And I just want Sister Barney to feel like a good missionary - to feel productive and know how to be yourself while being a missionary.I think that's one of the biggest things i've learned is how to balance both. You can't be one or the other. You can - but it doesn't produce the best results and it's not as fun either. I want to be a good trainer but also a fun one and sometimes I have so much ADD and so much "go go go" and I dont want her to think that being a missionary is only that. But things are good and i have to remind myself of the miracles that continue to happen! Like we founds this lady randomly that is a less active that doesnt have her records transfered here and wants to come back! Like having someone that you're trying to get a hold of that NEVER answers randomly walk into church. Miracles happen every day if we look for them, most of the time they are right under our nose and we don't even look at them as miracles. But they really are.

Love you all!

 

Sister Bell

 

Keepin it real...because it is real

Pictures

The first one is on the 4th of july...happy birthday america:)

the third is with a cute ysa girl that spent practically the entire day going to lessons with us and driving us around to save on miles!

the last is when we woke up at 4:30 in the morning to watch the sunrise atop a huge tower :)

July 17, 2013

This letter is coming late because this week is transfer week and so they switch P-Days to wednesday on those weeks.

 

I have good news:

Our investigator Corey is officially baptized and confirmed! 6 dunks later and we finally got him fully immersed under the water. I almost died in my seat. My body has never felt so tense. I had to keep reminding myself to calm down to not drive the spirit away. He's a big man and the boy he choose is a teeny 16 or 17 year old. Bad combo. After 2 he started almost hypervenalating in the font. But we got it all calmed down and figured out - another man had to go in the font and help dunk him - and we dunked him forwards. Despite all that, he said it was one of the best days of his life so thank heavens the spirit took over on that one. The entire time I was like Satan, we will stay here all night if we have to to get this man under the water so stop trying to stop it.

 

I have just...news. Not sure whether its good or bad:

I am staying in Ellington.

We got a call on saturday from President while we were in the middle of a service project. He was talking to sister Crane and called her to be a sister training leader. I got excited for 2 seconds thinking i will be able to learn so much having a companion who is a sister trainer. Then he said, unfortunetely you will be leaving Ellington. I was devistated for 2 seconds at the thought of her leaving me. Every day i wake up and wonder what I would do without Sister Crane. She's amazing - of course shes the sister trainer - i even predicted it...i just predicted she would stay.

THEN- President said, "and Sister Bell?" Well thats never a good sign. I said "yes President?" He said, "You are staying in Ellington. I know you and Sister Crane love eachother very much but the Lord has called you be a trainer in Ellington - will you accept?" Well when you put it that way I dont have a choice. All I could say was a simple "Yes." And the next thing I know Niagara Falls moved in. I've never seen so much liquid come out of my eyes before. I haven't cried on my mission yet which I was starting to get really proud about. I think the amount of liquid that came out of my eyes made up for it. Sister Crane just hugged me and held me there for a long time. She just let me cry there until I was done. The Elders Quorum president walked by and had a funny look on his face. Poor guy - but when we told him later he understood. I can't bare to see Sister Crane go. And as this week went on I realized more and more about how many questions I ask her...and then I realized I will still have all these questions and i wont have a Sister Crane to answer them.

I think this will be good. The Lord knows each of us and what we need in order to progress and I think he knew I needed to progress. i know this will help me learn at an accelerated rate. Training lasts for 12 weeks....in case anyone hasnt looked at a calendar recently i've only been out for 6. I haven't even finnished my OWN training and I'm expected to train someone ELSE? I have just been praying that my poor companion will have compassion on me. I am now the driver and I'm supposed to know where to go and how to teach people and I just dont. I am going to the store today to buy a GPS...not a purchase i was looking forward to making. We just got a new investigator this week and by next lesson I really want to extend the invitation for him to be baptized and this week we are teaching a lesson for the first time (that girl that we met on the 4th of july!!) and whether or not we extend the baptismal invitation, its still the most important lesson and im scared out of my mind knowing i wont have my comfort spot (aka sister crane) to lean upon.

The Lord is definetely teaching me to lean upon Him more than Sister Crane.

 

There is so much to do and I feel like I just can't do it all. We have a digital mission in our mission. missionaries are specifically assigned. We have a website that consists of blogs written by members. They have researched the most common searches on google - that is where they derive the topics for the blogs and postings. They have worked out a way so that when people search those questions, this blog is one of the first to pop up. They are currently working on linking it to mormon.org so that when people click on a word or "learn more" it takes them directly there. We reached out to them in curiosity. Bad idea - they asked us to pilot this area and ask members to write some of the blogs. We need to find writers, photographers, and an editor. The goal is for every mission in the area to have an effective system worked out that can run itself. They have asked us to try this out, figure out what works, evaluate the weaknesses and success and try to figure out an effective program to strengthen the blog as well as strengthen members and struggling members as they write.

I guess they figured that a greenie training a greenie means we don't have enough to do.

 

The gospel is true. I feel like i'm a terrible teacher and i feel like nothing makes sense but in the mean time I keep thanking heavenly father for the testimony he has given me, because that is something i DO have. I can tell people what I know and I can testify and I know that he has given that gift to me. I testify that this gospel has the fullness that Jesus Christ established on this earth. I testify that the book of mormon is the most correct book and that a man will get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts than any other book. I know the Lord and His atonement works from the inside out. so many times I see people in a poor situation and the first thing I want to do is fix their situation so they can feel the spirit. But I am quickly reminded that the Lord doesn't fix situations, he fixes us, our hearts, and our desires, and then the situation will naturally unfold. He works from the INSIDE - OUT....not the opposite. This is possible for each of you. Thank you for your letters and your pictures. Please go share the gospel. Please go reach out to hands that hang hopelessly down.

 

All my love from Ellington....for at least the next 6 weeks,

Sister Bell

 

Keepin it real...because it is real.......even when you have no idea what you're doing.

 

P.S. - you know you're in the best area in the world when strangers go door to door and leave a cow sugar cookie with a "happy cow appreciation day" note attached. Sister Crane and I died laughing - this place is the best.

July 8, 2013

Sounds like everyone had a blast this week and it was good to hear news all around of people expecting and people having babies! Shout out to mae mae and Blaise - the newest in the parents club. Sorry to say I can't send pictures this week because I forgot my adapter :(

 

4th of July was fun! President allowed us to stay past curfew to watch fireworks so us and the elders from our district drove to New Britain, CT to watch some pretty awesome fireworks. I got to do a lot of contacting there which is still relatively new for me since I hardly get the chance. So that was a learning experience. Its interesting trying to balance being yourself while still being able to testify in public. I thought about you a lot Brad! Other than that, 4th of July is just a normal day for missionaries. With Cory getting baptized, we are loosing a key investigator (but in a good way!) and the members are on their way to getting to the point where they are the main source of getting investigators...but not quite. We really really want someone new to teach and for some reason 4th of July morning I prayed extra hard and sincere praying that that day someone would come to us that is ready to hear the gospel of jesus christ. Sister Crane wanted to surprise me and take me to this beautiful look out place called Fox Hill Tower and on the way she thought she knew how to get there but we got a little lost. There was a couple walking their dogs and we stopped and asked them for directions. Sister Crane being the amazing missionary she is kept talking to them and brought up the gospel and they girl was like "wow i would love to hear more of what you have to say, here's my phone number." I was stunned. Sister Crane got in the car and I said "Sister Crane, wow - you just answered my prayers!" She said what are you talking about what did you pray for? I told her I would tell her that night. That night she said, "I really hope Cassandre is interested. this morning I prayed with a little extra sincerety really pleading with the Lord that we would find someone who is ready to accept the gospel." I was like thats what i was going to tell you that I prayed for!! It sounds dumb because you should always be praying for that...but it was different this time. We've tried to call Cassandre but we haven't gotten a hold of her  yet. But even if she doesn't end up hearing more, I still know that it was a confirmation to prayer and it felt good as a companionship not knowing we were both looking and praying for specifically the same thing that day.

 

Cory's baptism is in 5 days. In case you didn't get that....FIVE DAYS!!!!!!! he had his baptism interview with our DL.....which went awesome - we may or may not have listened outside the door :)....We are beyond excited and are trying to get as many people there as possible. Last night we had one of our last lessons with him and as a member was talking in the lesson I felt really really strongly that we needed to hear his testimony. I almost felt like I had to rock back and forth in my chair - it took all I could to patiently wait until our wonderful (BUT CHATTY) member stopped talking about being a strong member even when you see people who aren't. When she did I knew that I had to give Cory my testimony too. We have talked about testimony before but I knew he didn't have a firm grasp on it. So I said, "Do you remember us talking about testimony? Having and staying true to our testimony is what will keep us rooted in the gospel when we see other's examples that aren't that great in the church because no one is perfect. A testimony is things you know to be true - it can be things you learned from experience, that you read and pray about, or sometimes you don't even know why but you just feel it in your heart that it is right. I am going to tell you the things I know to be true and then afterwards I want you to tell us what YOU know to be true. Deal?" He seemed a little hesitant and said "what do you mean things i know are true?" I said I will tell you what I know to be true then I think you'll get it. Then I bore my testimony and when i did, maybe it was just because i was a little nervous, but I literally felt my heart beating so hard it almost hurt. The spirit was so strong and Cory's a really sincere guy so he looks you right in the eye when you speak, especially when you bear your testimony. I kept it simple and once I was done I said, "ok, that's what i know to be true. what about you?" He said that he knew that the book of mormon is true and he said a couple more things about the happiness he feels and then he said it feels so good I feel like I just want to share it [the gospel] with everyone.

That was it - so simple and yet the spirit was so strong in his little old apartment. I felt it and we knew he was more than ready to be baptized because he said he feels like he needs to share it with everyone - and thats what true conversion is I feel like - when you know its so true even when you can't explain it that you just have to share it. A poor homeless 39 year old, triple XL black man with hardly any life skills has transformed into a dedicated man with the spirit radiating.

 

It's been interesting to find a pattern in people. Its starting to get easier but it's still pretty hard sometimes to read their life story in 30 seconds or less. Sister Crane is pretty dang good at it of course. We went to visit an inactive member and it was a miracle because we always just want to talk to her but her husband dominates the conversation but this time he was sleeping on the deck so we got to talk to just her! This family used to be one of the strongest families in the church and he would help build all the church buildings with his hands and give up all he had for the church....and he just got burnt out. How does this happen people wonder? How do you have large calllings and learn the principle of sacrifice whhich should bring strength? turns out they stopped going to church when?....When they stopped reading the Book of Mormon on a daily basis. It's an obvious answer but to see the pattern over and over again - every time we ask them when the last time they read the book of mormon was...it's just before they stopped going to church. You can have the greatest calling in the world, keep the commandments, feel like youre keeping all your covenants, but when you stop reading the book of mormon daily - the cookie begins to quickly crumble. Its reassuring though that there's a simple solution - START reading the book of mormon. So she agreed to have us come over 2 times a month to read the Book of Mormon with her. Seems like it's not a big deal....but that's stretching for this family...it's a miracle.

 

Anyways, life is great. It's easy to feel overwhelmed, easy to have the desire to do everything and feel discouraged when in reality  you just can't, and easy to feel inadequate like you're not living up to everything you could be, and easy to be tempted to compare yourself to others. i have to shut my brain off a lot and step away and realize that I am one of the Lord's investigators too. I don't expect my investigators to take huge overnight steps and the Lord doesn't require that of me either. i just want to be good and I want to be better and i want to just be the best. And guess what? I guess you just can't be perfect everyday for some odd reason and you can't turn into a Sister Beck or Sister Elaine Dalton overnight for some odd reason. Sometimes I feel like im not changing that much or improving that much and I feel like I'm just going to come off my mission the same old person. But again I just have to shut off my brain and go back to my go to solution: to love. I figured out if i stop worrying about MY potential and all I could be and what I want of MYSELF and just love other people with all I have inside of me and always put them first, it helps me have faith that the Lord will do the same for me, his investigator, to give me all his love and help build me and put me first.

 

Have a wicked awesome week and go treat yourself to an ice cream sundae with some of dem jimmies on top :) I know I will :)

 

Love,

Sister Bell

 

Keepin it real....because it is real

July 1, 2013

Sorry if I didn't reply to any letters this week - it's July 1st and every other p-day all i've done is laundry so since we finally have miles on the car we are going to finally go do something fun so I have to keep everything short. But I appreciate all your letters - keep writing!

This week is awesome - we have Cory's baptism in 2 weeks. We had the special opportunity of asking him the baptismal interview questions last night to make sure he's prepared for his real interview with the DL this week. What a humble opportunity to ask someone if they feel worthy to make covenants with God. He is so ready and we are already planning a temple trip for him to go do baptisms at the end of the summer which means a trip to Boston! We are so excited! If any of you want to mail me your testimony or note to him or anything we are collecting testimonies from people like you and from our ward and putting them together and giving them to him for his baptism. Stuff like that means a lot to him so if you feel so inclined you are welcome to join in!

I looked at my planner and realized I have to get a new one....which means i've been out for almost 6 weeks in the field. WHAT?!?! You're kidding. I had to double check to make sure I didn't skip a week in the planner! Ive been telling people i've been out for a couple weeks...holy cow better change that. This week we went to see this less active lady. Man, word to the wise - never stop going to church - because when you do, your mind starts to play tricks on you and you kind of start to rewrite the past and you get weird ideas. This particular lady loves the church and loves the missionaries and tells all of her friends to go to the Mormon church but yet she goes to a different church. We asked her why and I wont go into details but lets just say this lady is apostate. And I mean that in the most loving way - if it wasn't so devistangly sad it would be funny. She has these nasty dogs - k hold up: what is it about connecticut and people with like 500 animals? We drove past this lady's house and she just walked out of her door in a night gown and literally probably 25 cats where roaming her grass. I almost had an accident we were laughing SO hard. Anyway: so this lady has nasty dogs. I asked Sister Crane if I am trying to have christlike love for the people does that mean i have to have christlike love for their animals? and she said yes. so we are talking to her about Christ and this dog crawls on the couch on my lap and wont stop licking me and its some nasty weiner dog and i'm trying to pet it and act cute with it and the lady's like "ah isn't that cute".  All I could say was "Yeah shes adorable she likes me." Inside i was throwing up. It's slobbering on my skirt and I'm trying to "pet it" as in PUSH it off of me and it fell asleep on me. So I decide ok at least its not licking me. Good thing Sis Crane was doing the talking because I couldn't share my testimony - i felt so bad but I knew it wouldn't be whole hearted. In the mean time - this lovely dog decides to pee on me. Yeah, real adorable lady. I had to go straight to an appointment afterwards - I felt so gross i just wanted to take a shower and scrub my body off - but yet, the work goes on as long as you dont smell (too bad). Within 24 hours we are hunting down a less active that we had never met or heard of before. We go knocking on the whole apartment complex (its just a few doors) to find this guy. Someone told us he lives upstairs and so on our way up the stairs I totally slip and fall, luckly catching myself before anything too bad happened. And I guy yells from INSIDE an apartment "Are you ok?!" Sister Crane and I are dying laughing and the guy comes out half naked and hairy and he's like you guys ok? And is jabbering on forever. In the mean time i knocked on the upstairs door and the guy is  yelling "who is it?!" and the downstairs guy is still screaming about how he thought he had to call 911" So I can barely hear and i was laughing and I didn't even think about what to say. You can't scream the whole title "...from church of jesus christ..." and then i thought hed probably wonder who the heak a "sister bell" is. My thoughts are running so fast and the hair man downstairs is yellin about 911 and I yell out "its sister bell". He opens the door - the whole apartment complex is basically in chaos of the whole scenario. In the end: No one named Nick lives there and the hairy man is "all set and isn't interested in the mormon church" (though he was very nice). We laughed the whole way home.

I don't ever want Sister Crane to be transfered! The ward loves having the set of rugby missionaries and sister crane loves to laugh at all the idiotic things I do like fall down stairs and have dogs pee on me and dont worry i tripped down more stairs too. She loves me and its great because i love her too! But they are coming up and the last batch of a large group of sisters is coming in so they need lots of trainers. We have so much potential and things down the pike here in our area I cant imagine President taking either one of us out at this crucial time and i'm hoping the Lord agrees with that. Fun fact: We got (and by we i mean the spirit) a less active to throw away his coffee pot! We have so many we are trying to work towards taking to the temple its awesome. I feel your prayers - they are working. Pray that these members and us will find people who are ready to hear the truth of the Lord's gospel. Happy days.

With much love,

Sister Bell

Keepin it real...because it is real - all of it.

p.s. the picture attached is the throwing away coffee pot party - he wanted to document this important moment